Why and where are we wrong?

Why and where are we wrong?

‘They were animals who did it, and it was unfortunate that she fell into their trap’- This is what people have been telling me right after the night of 16 December, when a young girl was gang raped with an unimaginable brutality here in New Delhi. But, is it true? Was that a work of a few individuals? Is it okay for us to put all the blame on those particular individuals while neglecting the role society played in making that heinous incident possible? Is it okay for us to subdue our guilt with a senseless pride that many of us felt after putting a facebook status and asking for the capital punishment for such insanity?

I had a discussion with my engineer friends about this incident, and I was quite taken aback with their rotten views and stinking opinions through which they were trying to defend the culprits, although unknowingly.  They said the culprits were sexually frustrated because they never had any girl friends and that they were angry of seeing girls in skimpy clothes and white skin, hanging out with other boys here in Delhi (The modern capital of India). They asked me, what would I have done? They asked me if I did not feel any anger while seeing those stylish girls walking along with other guys while me being all alone. On that, I was supposed to answer ‘yes’, because a ‘No’ would somehow show my low levels of testosterone and would project me as a gay. I didn’t answer anything…I just hung my head in disbelief.

They were frustrated, yes, but sexually? No!

They were frustrated because from where they came, women and girls used to live under the shoes of their male masters. They didn’t use to go out and party around at night. They didn’t use to have many male friends, and if they did, it was because they studied in the same school or college, or because her family was friend with him too. They never went to a movie nor had a party with a male friend. They didn’t have any freedom and they didn’t know their rights. That made those dumb headed male chauvinist pigs very happy.

But here in Delhi, it was all very different. Girls just didn’t know their rights and freedom, they actually enjoyed it. O, mother of God, how did that happen? How can those girls be free? What happened to the dreams of them male chauvinists of keeping women under their control and using them only like sex slaves?

It’s a right time for us to realize that rape is not about sex, it’s about dominance, and power. Sex is just a medium, and they resort to it, maybe because here in our society we believe that by having sex with someone against their will, we can somehow violate them, their dignity and their self worth.

Now, you may want to ask- Is it only the people from backward society that commit rape? What about the rapes that have been committed by the people of high class societies and broken young-guns of rich families? What about America, eh? You can’t miss that out, right?

Look, it’s not the income, status or education of a person that decides whether he will commit a crime or not.  It is his conditioning from his childhood; his upbringing and mentality towards women that makes a man commit crimes against woman. Do they see them as their equal? Most of them don’t!

And that brings us to the question of our topic- Why and where are we wrong?

Have you ever felt at your home that you are more important than your sister? Has it ever happened that after dinner you leave your dirty plates on the table as if it was the job of your mother or sister to clean it? Many do it because they think that it is not worthy of them.  Have you ever restricted your sister from getting a male friend while you cursed your girl-friend’s family for not letting her befriend you? Have you ever called a girl ‘slut’ or ‘use and throw material’ just because she had a lot of male friends and lived her life as freely as you did? Did the thought that love and sex before marriage are morally wrong for a girl, ever crossed your mind? Do you wish for a wife whose first priority in her life would be you and your house, and for whom it would be forbidden to have a job or life apart from what you decide for her? Do you want your wife to be less educated than you? Do you think that if your wife ever denied you sex, she should be deemed worthless and thus should not deserve your support or care? Have you ever thought that a girl who is wearing short cloths is actually asking for sex, and if she gets raped it is her fault? Do you think that there is a predefined line for married women that she cannot cross, and if she does it is okay for her husband to whip her? Have you ever thought that a male deserves to be the head of the family, just because he’s a male? …I can ask a lot more question, but I am running out of page.

If your answer to any of the above question is yes, then “you” my friend is what is wrong with this society. You feed the ‘Male dominant mentality’ in our society. And the worse thing about it is that you might not even know what you are doing is wrong. It is this mentality that makes a person commit such heinous crimes.

Remember this dear reader- Girls are human being too and are in no way lesser than their male counterparts. Look at them as fellow human rather than a sex object. Respect their rights, respect their freedom. Encourage them to have a free life, encourage them to move ahead, grow strong, and then fight this evil, first inside you and then in your society.

Remember this, my dear reader- They might be animals who did it, but it was our sick mentality that tamed them.

Author: Gaurav Tiwary